Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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