im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
