No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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