You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
