So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
