...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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