WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
