What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
