I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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