ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
