And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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