You smell like stripper and shame
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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