I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
