Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
