Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
