You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
