Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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