Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
