the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
