do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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