return my video game
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
True strength comes from lack of pants
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
