DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
did i just pee glitter
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
