Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he thought i was a dude.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
