absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
wow bdsm is so cute
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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