Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
