Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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