apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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