Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
