Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
