It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
