you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
