The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
