If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
