turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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