Where did you get a picture of my penis
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
