I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
