He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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