I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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