im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
