My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My pussy is not your playground.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
