life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
