Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
