y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
