I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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