Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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