Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
