Dual....:-)
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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