It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
