I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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