Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
