Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
